Things You Should Avoid Saying to Someone Dealing with a Loss

Blessed are those who know exactly what to say for any occasion whether it be a graduation, a wedding or an anniversary. But those are happy occasions, and the words can often flow quite easily in such situations. It can be another matter entirely, however, if the situation relates to a close friend of yours who is planning a cremation or funeral for their deceased relative. In such cases, it can be hard to figure out just what to say. Whatever you do end up saying, be sure that they don’t include anything remotely similar to what follows.  

She’d Still be Around if She Had Listened to Me 

There are some people who simply have no filter. They will say whatever they have to say, to whomever they have to say it, and wherever they want to say it. Such a person might reason if their advance had been taken, the deceased person would have recovered and lived on. The insensitivity of such sentiments is hard to miss. Even if you feel deep down that the deceased could have been around for more years had they lived life differently, it’s not for you to make such judgement calls…especially to the hurt of those who are grieving the loss. The old adage — if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all – rings true. Remember it.  

He Did Everything He Was Here to Do…So God Took Him to Heaven 

It’s easy to see how something like the aforementioned could come from someone who means well, but it can still come across as insensitive. In the aftermath of a death in the family, your friend won’t be feeling philosophical about the loss given the raw pain caused by the separation. In time, they might be able to come to the conclusion that their loved one had lived a good life and had accomplished life’s task to the satisfaction of some higher power. But do yourself – and your friend – the favor of allowing them to come to these realizations themselves.   

You’re Lucky Your Uncle Passed Quickly…My Aunt Suffered Before Her Passing 

Everybody hurts, and it serves no useful purpose to undermine someone else’s grief by comparing it to your own. It may very well be true that your loved one died after a prolonged illness while your friend’s loved one might have died suddenly in his sleep. But that doesn’t make your friend’s pain any less real than your own. Losing a loved one to death, even if not in as a dramatic a way as some have experienced, will hurt because of the broken bond.   

If you need a death care services provider to help you plan a cremation service in Mayfield Heights, OH, look no further than All Ohio Cremation & Burial Society, Inc. We’re located at 16150 Brookpark Rd., Cleveland, OH 44135, and we specialize in helping grieving families to make the big and small decisions needed to plan a body disposition involving cremation. Call us at (216) 631-4500 to get the process started. We look forward to helping you in your time of need. 

Patrick Mahoney